I just received a beautiful gift. A compliment. A friend said “You look fabulous.” For a fraction of a second and old pattern of criticism surfaced and I almost threw the gift back to her. I opted instead to enjoy the idea of feeling like I looked fabulous, and by gosh, it felt really good, and my mood was even more joyful.I imagine it made her feel really good to have contributed such a blessing to another.
Do you rudely deny others the gift or opportunity to bless you, by refusing to hear compliments, or by turning down emotional support or help in material ways? How selfish of you. I’m messing with you a bit.
We aren’t trying to be selfish or deny others the joy of uplifting, supporting and helping us. We’ve just been trained to think we need to be humble or self-deprecating or prove we can go it alone. Or we throw back the compliment because we’re trained to look at our faults in the mistaken theory we need to keep the pressure on so we can whip ourselves into shape.
Or the truth thing messes us up. What I mean is, what if I receive the compliment and she didn’t really mean it and I felt fabulous based on a false premise? Or what if she thinks I look fabulous but 9 out of 10 people don’t think so?Or, she thinks I look fabulous but based on my own critical observation, like seeing myself almost naked under harsh fluorescent dressing room lights, I know better.
These negative trains of thought have proven, guaranteed, to make you feel awful. If they do motivate to push yourself forward it’s at a huge cost, feeling miserable along the way. There is another way. Making feeling good unconditional. Accepting gifts graciously.
From the beautiful place of feeling good we are filled with inspiration, clarity and love. The way we were meant to live.
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